…with whom you dare to be yourself

I can’t remember when I first saw these words – it was a long time ago. Interestingly, there is great debate (online) over who wrote it… and some discussion around who wrote it first.

At different times I have known this closeness to another – it is a rare and precious thing. I know many couples who have had moments of it, and some still do. Many have lost it, or misplaced it. Some are prepared to rebuild it, others don’t even know it is missing, or where to start. All of us are human – the thoughts in here are welcoming and challenging.

To be this for another person is no mean feat. …partly because, in my humble opinion, being truly yourself with another person can be a very scary thing.

To my true friends, who have seen me, and are still around – thank you! And thanks for letting me be your friend too.

 

What is a friend? I will tell you.

It is a person whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with him. He seems to ask of you to put on nothing only to be what you are.

He does not want you to be better or worse.

When you are with him, you feel as a prisoner feels who has been declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard. You can say what you think, so long as it is genuinely you.

He understands those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you.

With him you can breathe freely.

You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks, your meannesses and absurdities and, in opening them up to him, they are lost, dissolved on the white ocean of his loyalty.

He understands.

You do not have to be careful.

You can abuse him, neglect him, tolerate him. Best of all, you can keep still with him. It makes no matter. He likes you – he is like fire that purges to the bone.

He understands.

He understands.

You can weep with him, sin with him, laugh with him, pray with him.

Through it all – and underneath – he sees, knows, and loves you.

A friend? What is a friend? Just one, repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself.

(Author disputed)

I am many things

I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared in my path,
but by the courage I have found to forge new roads.

I do not define myself by how many disappointments I have faced,
but by the forgiveness and faith I have found to begin again.

I do not define myself by how long a relationship lasted,
but by how I have loved and have been willing to love again, and how I still love.

I do not define myself by how many times I have been knocked down,
but by how many times I have struggled to my feet.

I do not define myself by how often I have appeared a fool,
but by the number of risks I have taken.

I do not define myself by the number of mistakes I have made,
but by the knowledge that I have learned from trying a new way

I am not my pain.

I am not my past.

I am that which has emerged from the fire.

Author unknown

Once a year…

In the past year I have joined a number of groups that talk about travel – I’m sure this doesn’t surprise anyone… and one of them had a wonderful quote today… “Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.” Dalai Lama

I think this is one my new favourite quotes. Unbeknownst to me, when I moved back to Canada October 2009 I was actually starting to live this. Yes, I have travelled – more than many, not nearly as much as some – but I hadn’t thought about going someplace each year I’d never been before. But what had been inklings to travel to new places in the past – 2003 to Edinburgh, Guatemala and Honduras, 2006 to the Te Papa Museum in Wellington, New Zealand for the Royal Portrait Exhibition – I realize now took hold when in June 2011 I first spent more than a few hours in France! Since then, I have spent longer and longer each time on this ancient continent, experiencing more of its history, culture, people and life.

In the past nine weeks my “new places” have been on a smaller but no less grand scale. Each one of them has become about an Italian experience: 15 minutes as a member of a small group enjoying da Vinci’s The Last Supper, spending Christmas in Venice in the fog and sitting in the “golden basilica” as the history of the magnificent building was opened up to us, and New Year’s Eve in Florence with new Aussie expat friends, to name a few of the past 13 days.

For some of these experiences, I have photographs to look at to remind me of all that I saw. For others, I have my memory because no photographs are permitted.

…Why do I talk of these things? Because I have friends who are not in a position to travel as they would like right now – they have obligations that are important, and I do truly value that. And it is these friends who have and continue to encourage me to take this wonderful adventure. So, unapologetically, I will try to blog this year about the many new places and experiences I get to… big and small. And as my friends through this blog, if there is something you’d like me to see and share, or something you think I might enjoy experiencing, please let me know.

One last word – I encourage you to go somewhere you’ve never been before, even if it is some place local with a wonderful experience, just go!